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One of my good friends told me the other day that his girlfriend is pregnant. I’m happy for him because he is happy, but it also made me think a lot about what seems to be an essential goal for most people: to settle down and have kids.

A Norwegian writer Anne Bitsch (yes, I know her name might sound funny in English) wrote this for Aftenposten last week. She writes brilliantly about how women in their 30ies are sometimes (or often?) considered incomplete as women if they haven’t given birth.

What is our purpose on this planet? I just read a portrait about Johnny Depp, who talks about his kids and says that when he had kids, he finally understood what was his purpose on earth. We are talking about one of the world’s most loved and one of the world’s best actors, who gave us Gilbert Grape, Edward Scissorhands and Jack Sparrow.

And here is a fun fact: the most common topic among my collegues at my work is definitely my collegue’s kids.

You hear it everywhere: the biggest moment in people’s lives is the moment their sons or daugthers were born. The best thing that happened in people’s lives are their kids. And the first thing that people ask married couples about is when they are going to have kids.

Biology tells you to have children. Evolution tells you to have children. Your instincts are supposed to tell you to have children. It’s the most natural thing in the world. And to some it’s also the most beautiful thing in the world.

What if you don’t have this instinct? What if you have got other needs for your short life and your time on this exciting planet? If biology and instincts tell you to have children, isn’t it equally natural to think that something is defect when you don’t have this need? Is something wrong?

I’m 28 and I don’t want children. There are a lot of reasons for that. Among other things, I believe that one of the biggest problem our planet faces is overpopulation, and I am not going to contribute to that. Besides, I don’t want to place another child on this planet full of injustice, grief and difficult questions that don’t always have good answers. I also simply have other plans for my life. This is just a very simple explanation, but I would rather discuss it with you in person than having to explain myself here.

If I tell people that I don’t want to have children, I get reactions such as “What??” and “Why??” and “Oh yes you will, you’ll feel it later”. How can they not see that people might get hurt by reactions like these? These attitudes still exist, and I believe that many people get more surprised if someone tells them that they have chosen not to have kids, than if people tell them that they are gay.

As mothers do not have to explain why they became mothers, I should not have to explain why I don’t want to have children. It is every woman’s (and man’s!) own choice to decide what to do with her (his) life. Just because women are able to have children, we are not committed to evolution and biology. We are human beings, we have a right to choose.

Here are some photos from my time in Kenya.

Enjoy

It was so unbelievably weird to start work again! It’s actually more difficult to adjust to this society than it was to come down to Africa. But I’m glad to be home, I won’t lie.

My class

The beautiful giraffes

(Oh no, what a boring title.)

First of all, and the most important thing I learned from my time here in Kenya, is that the people here and especially the kids can always afford a smile, no matter how poor they are. Whatever goes on in their minds, they always find strength to play or sing together. The people living in the slum seem to be relaxed about the way they live, even if they know that there is a better life outside the slums. That said, they have a strong belief in God, and without that belief I don’t know what they would do. Anyway, I’m going to take with me the attitude of the people here and try to adopt it. I’ve also learned to really appreciate living where I live.

Another thing that strikes me with the kids here is that they have no problems joining in in games, like skipping, or speaking in class or singing in front of the other kids, no matter how timid they are. If they cry because they hurt themselves, they don’t seem to feel sorry for themselves for a long time afterwards. Again, of course I can’t see what the kids are thinking, but you call tell there is a difference from the way they behave. We have a lot to learn from these kids.

I’ve met new people, I’ve got new friends from UK and the US, and I got confirmed that Norway is just a small spot that people in other countries really don’t know much about.

I’ve never been away from home for this long without people I know well. It’s been challenging, I’ve been homesick, I’ve been anxious and I’ve missed Andreas so much. It sounds silly and exaggerated but I was forced to be strong and I’ve learned from the others how to handle this. I’ve still got 3-4 days to go, and I’m looking so much forward to getting on the plane home. But I don’t regret doing this, not at all. On the contrary, I’m so glad I did this.

I’ll tell you the rest later.:)

What I miss: Norwegian/Finnish/Western food!!! (Not a fan of Kenyan food.) I miss tomato sauce, yoghurt, Finnish bread, cold milk, fish (yeah, fish, especially salmon), fresh vegetables (haven’t had fresh vegetables since I came here), and so on, and so on.

Hot showers. I had a hot shower in Nairobi and a couple of times at the Maasai Mara camp. That’s it.

Andreas. So much.

Being well, not sick, all the time.

Nice smells, like grass or flowers.

Fresh air. The sea.

Norwegian and Finnish people. I would have been so happy to meet someone from Norway or Finland. I’m a little sick of being the only one who is not from the UK or US. But I won’t complain. I didn’t go to Kenya to meet Norwegian people.

On Saturday we’re going to Kisumu to see Obamas grandmother and Lake Victoria. Looking forward to it.

I’ve given up posting photos because the computer breaks down each time I try. I’ll post some pictures when I get home.

See you all soon. Miss you.